Gnomonia

 A riff on a thing mentioned in The Phegnomenon from I Don't Remember That Move

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Every forest is cursed, this is common knowledge.

One of the more peculiar and dangerous curses emanate from fairy rings. You can tell such a cursed forest from a whiles off by looking for the proper signs.

The woods themselves will be full of new growths- with any older trees being nothing but smooth spires. Hornless deer will meander around, occasionally painted strange hues but always with a scared look in their eyes. Emaciated bears will forage for honey, as it's the last thing their toothless mouths can ingest.

Such peculiarities are all thanks to gnomenogenesis- the spontaneous transmutation of pointed objects into gnomes- which occurs within a certain radius of fairy circles.

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The effect of course hinges on a couple factors:

• The more cone-like something is, the quicker it will become a gnome.
• Cones will transform near instantly.
• Simple pointed objects like swords may take hours.
• Non-pointed objects which still end in a stump may take days to weeks.
• The closer to the Gnome Core of a fairy ring the subject is, the quicker the transformation will take place.

As a result, the area immediately around a fairy ring is almost instantly lethal under normal circumstances. Besides the near instant transformation of all matter into gnomes, the raw density of gnomes also leads to a dense cannibalistic throng of micro-gnomes as an additional hazard. Even other gnomes tend to avoid fairy rings as a result.

Even at a distance, gnomenogenesis can result in the horrifying condition of gnomonia in which the body breaks down into gnomes.

Cases of gnomonia typically arise in the teeth first, or horns if a creature has them. The danger lies however when the extremities begin to experience symptoms. When the digits go, soon the limb will break off into a gnome. And once the limbs have gone, the torso and head will eventually succumb to gnomonia together. 

Occasionally tying up a criminal to be tortured and transformed into gnomes may be used as a form of torture or execution, however it is typically much more popular to somehow affix a cone-like hat to the victim and then simply turn them loose to transform into a gnome all at once.

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Those travelling through a gnome-infested wood are highly recommended to take all efforts to disguise any points they or their property may have. Wearing mittens, rounded sheaths, capping teeth, shaving down horns, and more are just some of the basic precautions. And under no circumstances should anyone bring any actual cone-shaped objects, or the voyage may as well be lost.

Travelling with a ranger of the gnomewoods is also highly recommended, for dealing with any gnomes which may be encountered on the journey. One can tell a seasoned ranger from a novice by the following symptoms of repeat gnomonia:

• The canine teeth are almost always the first things to desert the ranger in the woods, leaving them with a peculiar whistling voice.
• Fingers may often be lost- if not directly to gnomonia, then to the gnomes themselves.
• Elder rangers or the supremely cautious are usually completely devoid of all hair. For does hair not end in a point which may become gnome?
• Beware of any old rangers with beards, hats, or spritely smiles. If they have not yet been put down by their brothers in arms, they will soon heed the call of their new and more petty brethren.

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The gnomes themselves are pitiful nuisances. They look akin to your standard garden gnome, but distorted into the proportions of whatever spawned them (e.g. a long thing spindly gnome made from a sword, a little stout tooth gnome, etc). Deep in their hearts they feel only a love of mischief- specifically mischief involving the highest and most elaborate efforts.

Gnomes have been observed spending hours setting up elaborate traps to hurl dung at travelers, sneaking through underbrush to drug travelers and graffiti their faces with crude drawings, or making a racket to try and just cause a wandering creature to attack at an inopportune time.

Above all else, gnomes are only in it for pranks.

Normally this wouldn't be too much of a danger outside of wasted time or resources (and given the density of pissed off beings in vicinity of a gnome forest: more chances at dangerous encounters). However- given that the more you are delayed in the gnome wood, the more you are subjected to gnomonia- the danger of becoming trapped or diverted closer to the fairy ring substantially increases the mortal peril. There's a reason mothers tell their children tales of rascals who ran away to the woods, only to end up sad limbless sacks to be taunted by gnomes with no escape other then death by gnomonia.

Thankfully should the worst arise gnomes may be dealt with.

Gnomewood rangers often act akin to rodeo clowns, of a sort- purposefully triggering traps or walking into gnomish jokes to buy time for the main group to escape. They are experts at how to take the tumble and play along with the act, as well as general escape artistry.

Gnomes in general also can be bargained with. They are about as reasonable as a child, and hold interest in similar childish things like toys or material for their pranks. They will also try to bargain for pointed objects or cones. Under no circumstances should the latter ever be given to them. In return: their skillset is fairly limited to prank-based engineering and japes however, which along with their limited attention span make them marginally helpful.

As a last resort, getting a gnome to laugh can be distraction enough. Though trying to match their unique sense of humor can be a tall task.

Rumors also tell of some gnomes more devoted to their craftsmanship, who spend their days devising large cone monoliths. Nobody has really seen such monoliths completed, but then again nobody has really seen any massive gnomes either...

Random Word Wizards 1

For a long stretch, I’ve hit that terminal stage of compiling personal house rules and experimental ideas into my own homebrew system- one made with the goal of not necessarily being good but doing things as differently as I can manage.

But that’s not terribly interesting- everyone has their own system or preferred style of play anyway.

For the purposes of reading this all one needs to know is magic is just rolling dice to do things within a narrow few-word domain. This little writing exercise is just here to tinker around with potential spell casters made from randomly generated words.

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A Body of [Tessellation + Organs + Volume]
Meat wizards that bend and fold labyrinthine forms within themselves. Miles upon miles of intestine, massive twisting chambers with countless livers, a gaggle of hearts beating out a drum solo. They appear normal, but can perform all sorts of superhuman feats- thanks to their space-folded muscle. Can occasionally go all Akira if they encounter spatial anomalies or let their controls go

Spells which perform [various Verbs] upon [Math]
One of the very orthodox wizard varieties, and one of the most powerful. By using magic, they can bend the base law of the universe in a variety of unpredictable ways within the local area- hence their great threat and the many required years of study. If all of reality were an equation after all, imagining  shifting just changing one number around. If within a set area, 1 + 1 = 3.

Spells which perform [various Verbs] upon [Drama]
Part actor and part provocateur; basically all about inciting dramatic events. The spark of tragedy, a whirlwind romance, a blood feud, many things. Most dress half like a flamboyant rake and half like a performance artist, enough so that you know their kind upon sight. This is because more often then not, they do not even really use their magic. They simply receive money for staying the hell away. When they are invited to things, it’s usually an outright ploy by whoever invited them- which then leads to drama and intrigue regardless. Some theorize this is because they can wield their craft so subtly, others argue they aren't even real and they’re just two-bit weirdos. The latter camp may not entirely be wrong in their view, as people impersonating Dramamancers in an attempt to extort money due to the sheer danger of them is actually quite a serious problem.

Spells which pertain to [Stranger]
Basically they cause dementia. Wander into somebody’s life, warp their minds, wander out. They usually wipe people’s memories of themselves as a formality, making themselves forgotten enigmas. Isolated and confused targets can be easily duped. What are these white little stones in my mouth? What is this metal thing in my hand? What is breathing. Encountering them can be a very horrifying experience, and should be layered in purple prose for players. Why do they do this? Some people say even their practitioners forget why. Is it a vendetta against higher thought? Perhaps their original purpose was to erase something from the memories of mankind, for their own safety. Whose to say.

Spells which perform [Elongation] upon [various Nouns]
Long spindly strangeness. Involved in industry via fletchers, thread spinners, etc. Often efficient in combatting skilled melee combatants by randomly warping their bodies to create openings as well as weak points. Also well versed in twisting their own bodies, doing some zoom punches or stilt walking. Their signature weapon is the thousand-point lance, or as commoners say “stag antlers”; staves which come to many branched points. They constantly elongate these sharp points for all sorts of purposes. Goring targets on numerous spikes, breaking them off for improvised projectiles, using the staff to create makeshift bridges- numerous uses. More skilled Elongateers even utilize a technique whereby the randomly elongate spikes along strange angles to create near-impossible to dodge attacks.

Spells which pertain to [Resolve]
Speed things up, religion for entropy. Respect brevity, talking quickly. They do not believe so much in rampant murder and suicide and so forth, just helping things reach their natural conclusion much quicker. If you have a disease- they’ll accelerate that disease. Useful for colds, terrible for cancers. Never a major cult given this, but have been aligned with numerous major powers over the years. Most often align with druids, advancing plants overtaking the world or decaying stone back into nothing. In combat they can be devastating- turning squads of fighters into senile elders wrapped in rusty scrap metal. Enough together can wear down castles or any other obstacles with ease.

A Body of [Birth + Self + Grow]
Strange beings, all named Rodan, with bodies covered in lumpy growths. Each growth gestates a copy of the original being, which will bud off and quickly grow. Besides the obvious applications of this, making oneself much harder to kill through sheer numbers, it also can serve to revert serious injuries or as an unconventional solution to many problems. Need to cross a chasm? Fill it with bodies. Need to break down a wall? Use some bodies. Need to descend a cliff very fast? You get the picture. While each Rodan doesn’t look exactly the same- encompassing the broad variety of humanity in biological sex, skin tone, etc- it is believed they all originate from some original Rodan. They all claim to be the original Rodan anyway, with many able to recite fractured and different accounts of some of the same primordial memories. With each offspring they produce, there are inevitable mutations and changes- deviations from the previous norm. Was this perhaps intentional by the initial Rodan, to become perfect through iteration? Or just inevitable and uncontrolled genetics?

[Update] Life

It's been a minute huh

Almost like something happened there

Something on a global scale that is still happening

A blog I started on a whim has been the furthest thing on my mind- compared to trying to find stable work, health concerns, etc etc. Life & responsibility will always come first after all.

It's not been all bad however, and trying to stay positive is important. In the scope of this blog:

- I created my own tabletop system and started testing it and ironing out all the problems with it. Who knows, maybe I'll publish it online if I ever stop constantly tweaking it.

- I've run about three concurrent campaigns in a shared sandbox setting, for the sake of the above testing, and they've all been going well. It's been a real psychological boon over the course of the pandemic.

- I've had some of my most productive times lately creating and writing content.

I'm always nervous about what exactly to share online- partially about what is actually of quality and worth sharing, partially about keeping a couple of the really good ideas under my hat, partially over what is "finished," and lastly over the fear that someone out there has already done something similar enough that it's all marked as plagiarism.

But then again what does any of that matter this is just a stream of consciousness blog I write and commit to the digital void- never to be seen again.

So: gonna try and update this more often. If I'm a liar, find me and punch me.