On Unnamed Horizons

Saturday, August 8, 2026

[Fan-work] JJBA: Siberian Khatru

Context

The main contents of this post were actually all originally written in other documents way back in 2017!

Back then: I wanted to experiment a bit with page layouts & such so I drew up an adaption of the PACE System by Fred Hicks for specifically playing games set in the world of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

(I won't share more than the logo I had made;
but I would highly recommend checking out
PACE for more board-gamey/Fiasco type games)

Of course, why make something without ever using it? And so JJBA: Siberian Khatru became a quick, little side-game to run with some friends.

Note: a lot of the actual encounter spaces were left a bit sparse of descriptions, largely relying on improvisation thanks to the randomisation. This is also to suit the central mechanic of PACE, which essentially lets players push back on current circumstances or win challenges at the cost of expending points, with those points then going directly to their opposition to use against them later.

I've found this narrative push-and-pull mechanic really suits those moments in JoJo where some improbable, unexpected, or fated circumstance occurs (e.g. a character just happening to be in the right spot, a useful item for the fight being nearby, etc), as long as there wasn't too much pre-existing bulk to push back against.

Scenario:「Siberian Khatru」

August, 1965!

The Sound of Music is an international hit film only a few months after it’s debut.
The Beatles have released their fifth album, “Help!”
Ian Fleming, the creator of the James Bond series, has been dead for one year.

The Civil Rights movement is still recoiling from the Watts Riots, which are still fresh in the minds of the American public.
The US is a few months into Operation Rolling Thunder, escalating their conflict with North Vietnam.
The Berlin Wall is currently receiving another reinforcement.

------

Each of your characters is a「Stand User.」

Whether through coercion or voluntary service: they are also an agent either working directly for the US government or on loan from one of their NATO allies.

Your current handler, CIA Agent Michael Snow, has briefed you with the following document intercepted from the Soviets.

Within the last few weeks: Jola Gajos has escaped the facility.

In that time she's made contact with at least half a dozen US-based television personalities through supernatural means, in order to get our attention and ask for assistance.

It is your mission rendezvous with Jola, and bring her back to the land of the free & the home of the brave via West Berlin.

------

Jola "YoYo" Gajos

Stand: 「Dream Police」

「Dream Police」appears to be a small humanoid Stand, with a hazy cloud-like motif. It also features an exposed brain, camera-like eyes, and one arm that's a spike.
Humanity as a whole shares a certain set of instincts and drives to survive, a shared will known as the Collective Unconscious. And what is a Stand, but a manifestation of a person's will to fight and survive? YoYo's「Dream Police」can explore the Collective Unconscious, and find the Truth of anyone who has ever「dreamed」.

Essentially 「Dream Police」 allows it's user to learn anything anyone may know- with the following caveats:

It is not precise; it can basically pull a single random vignette of a target's life at a time.
YoYo must know the target somehow; usually through briefly meeting them, but reading her a well-researched dossier will do if you help her with the big words.
If somehow someone never dreamed before, or they haven't dreamed since learning something, or they are a lucid dreamer, or otherwise an unreliable witness- then this ability won't work or can be fed unreliable information.

「Dream Police」can also manifest over any sleeping person she's familiar with, at any range, and interact with them or objects near them; though this takes intense focus on YoYo's part. In theory this would make YoYo an incredible assassin, however she is 7 and unwilling to kill anyone.

Jola dresses in bright fuzzy clothes, criss-crossed with all sorts of dashed lines. She is often day-dreamy and child-like when things are quiet.

Despite having been separated from her family in Poland, back just before the Cuban Missile Crisis, YoYo still has a serene presence. She also has this tenacity and keen insight which emerges in tense situations that has let her survive so long, despite the constant experiments and training. (Effectively: as-needed Speedwagon narrator).

Misc Other Rules

Death

After a character dies & the fight that killed them is over, the survivors are allowed to say one final goodbye to them as their soul ascends into the clouds.

Whenever they arrive at the next city, somehow a new ally emerges and joins the party. Maybe they also work with the CIA, or otherwise are anti-USSR, or sympathise with poor little YoYo, whatever justification you need.

If somehow YoYo dies, you lose.

If somehow everyone dies, you lose.

Injuries

We are on Part 3 logic- everything short of getting a limb hacked off or shot in the head is just kinda shrugged off by the time you arrive at the next city.

Travel Logistics

The nitty gritty logistics of travel aren't really a concern. Vehicles? Food? Money? Somehow you're taking care of that with agent skills or Stando Powah, role play it out but it doesn't matter mechanically.

The important parts are the "challenges" of how you are travelling. Whenever you travel between cities, roll on the list below and then scratch out the entry you rolled. Your party needs to somehow navigate this obstacle and move on.

The party needs to receive a dead drop from their handler, with a key item they need. The enemy is also aware, and moving to intercept it.
YoYo has been kidnapped somehow by the enemy, and needs to be retrieved immediately.
The party needs to make it through a border crossing. An enemy is also crossing at the same time.
The party needs to traverse a minefield or other militarised rough terrain, while being assaulted by the enemy.
The train/plane/boat the party is taking is sabotaged, and an enemy is using the opportunity to ambush them.
The party is staying undercover at a hotel, where the enemy is also staying.
The party needs to meet up with an allied contact, before an enemy can get to them.
The party needs to infiltrate a fancy party in order to meet a contact. The enemy is also in attendance, but isn't aware of the party.
A supposed ally comes to help the party. They are actually an enemy, and this is a trap.
The party is completely cut off from supplies, stranded, tired, and now being assaulted by an unseen enemy.
The enemy covertly attacks the party in a large, crowded, public space.
The enemy attacks the party while they are driving on a bridge, both groups in cars.
The party must traverse an urban environment littered with surveillance and an enemy already looking for them.
The party needs to protect a receiver from the enemy, in order to receive a key message from their CIA handler via numbers station.
The party needs to identify/locate the enemy Stand User in the first place.
The entire party is captured, and needs to escape the enemy & their interrogators.
The party is just chilling, when the enemy basically just walks up and starts the fight.
Some bizarre random thing happens, and then the enemy attacks shortly after.
The party needs medical care, and is attacked by the enemy while they are receiving it.
The party actually catches the enemy at a seemingly inopportune time for them.

Tone and Speeches

Have Wikipedia open on your phone and be ready to give a random ranting speech detailing either the cities the players are going to, Cold War era politics, or other random esoteric facts. It's important for the tone. Narrator's choice on what to hyperfixate on.

The Map & Length of a Game

Really, all of this is pretty loosey-goosey. Break out a historical map and just kind of point out a route going through any cities you recognise or how long of a game everybody wants to play. For each city you add, you have to roll for another travel challenge & fight another Stand User.

Depending on the plans of the party, in theory you could just speed run this through travelling out by water or by air, but where's the fun in that?

A recommended route might be going by land from: Vilna > Leningrad > Moscow > Minsk > Bialystock > Warsaw > Poznań > Szczecin > Frankfurt > East Berlin > The Berlin Wall

And then of course, the Finale & Epilogue entries come after.

1. Vili Jokela

Stand: 「We Didn't Start The Fire」

Commonly shortened to「Didn't Start」
Long Range, Autonomous, Non-Humanoid Stand
Upon activating his Stand, Vili may specify an object.

Anyone who touches that object has their "appearance" overwritten after a couple of moments, such that they all appear to be identical trench coat wearing Stand-like figures.

(This is half-true- it actually works on any object that touches that object).

All five senses are completely fooled by「Didn't Start」, however indirect means of observation (e.g. painting a mark on a target) or inherent properties (e.g. the weight of a target) are unaffected.

The effects of 「Didn't Start」may either be dispelled at will by Vili, if a target moves far enough away from Vili, or when Vili is physically or psychologically defeated.

They are NOT dispelled when Vili switches which object his Stand is specifying, though Vili will try to keep that part secret.

Q, from Streetfighter

Vili will usually first appear to the party anonymised via his Stand. His real form though is that of a bulging and hardy fellow, stuffed into the exact same outfit as his Stand's effect but nearly bursting at the seams. Underneath his hat, he has an awful whacky haircut.

Vili was born and raised in Helsinki, and technically works for Supo. However, as part of an agreement to appease the USSR, he has been forced into cooperating with them as part of their research into Stands.

Usually his missions focus on support roles, including anonymising people and transporting them under enemy observation or through active combat zones. As such, he is very begrudging and conflicted about dealing with the party.

Vili carries a pistol, and is a decent marksman.
In a pinch: Vili will use his Stand on something handheld and then tap that against random objects in order to create lifeless mannequin decoys.
Vili's ability is good for blending in to a crowd, sure, but it is especially good at sowing chaos. Whether it's a crowd of people or amongst a bunch of armed officers, it can make non-Stand Users lose their cool and get paranoid quickly.

Vili also won't hesitate to stoke things into a violent riot.
Also the whole "no no shoot him not me I'm the real one" gambit.

2. THOP Elite Sting Team

Stand: 「Russians」

「Russians」is a post-mortem multi-unit Stand. They each look like a locust crossed with a tank, and each one is tied to a single dog tag recovered off the corpse of a single member of the Amur Tiger Squad who died in Stalingrad.

The bearer of one of 「Russians'」tags is, for all intents and purposes a Stand User- even if they wouldn't be one normally. This mainly lets them see Stands.
Each bearer of a tag may also do the following:

See through each others' eyes
Teleport objects to the same locations on one another (e.g. a soldier holding a clip in his right hand can teleport the clip to another soldiers right hand)

The THOP Elite Sting Team is a highly-trained, well-coordinated, military strike force that specialises in ambushes. They will come in assault gear to kick the doors down, firing assault rifles, throwing smoke grenades, and doing all kinds of Counter Strike tacticool military stuff.

What they have in numbers and firepower though, they lack in creativity. They think like a conventional soldier and not a Stand User. They mainly just use their Stand to coordinate, and maybe the occasional tricky move. Since it's not their Stand, it's not really that intuitive to them.

------

If the rest of the THOP Elite Sting Team is defeated: their last survivor, their sniper Vanya Fyodorov who was providing backup from the rear, will emerge from the dust and reveal that 「Russians」 has undergone an evolution to become...

Stand: 「Fortunate Son」

Vanya has wrapped his arms in the dog tags of all of his fallen brothers, and the Stand itself has evolved it's design to appear as a single vibrating soldier that casts of hazy afterimages of itself randomly in every direction.
「Fortunate Son」only grants its powers now to Vanya, nobody else.
Each of Vanya's bullets somehow appears to be coated with the blood of his fallen comrades. Instead of teleporting comrade-to-comrade, Vanya can now either

teleport an object to a bullet
teleport himself to a bullet

Unlike before, Vanya can use this ability in many creative ways:

Shoot through a thin wall to traverse it
Shoot far away to get some distance, or into the air to ascend
Throw or place multiple other unfired bullets to teleport to
Shoot a bullet into a room to surprise breach it
Any of the above tricks, but teleporting a grenade in instead

Vanya, unlike his brothers in arms, is equipped with a big ass sniper rifle that's super loud. Where he got the live grenades, anybody's guess.

3. Agent "Orzabal"

Codename "Orzabal" is an MI6 agent, meant to be cooperating and providing support on this mission. Pick your favourite James Bond- he looks like that but with the funniest haircut you can think of, and a white tuxedo with an exaggerated hourglass cut.

He's swaggering, but in an inclusive middle-manager sort of way. We're all here, we're the best, and by god we're gonna do the thing! When he first shows up, he'll help the party through a couple mundane small challenges. However, this slowly shifts into him sabotaging and taking everyone else.

This is because he is under the influence of a Stand User tailing the party (see below).

If released from Matrona's control, he will wait a beat and then betray the party again one more time. Yes he was being influenced, but he also legitimately fell for Matrona and will kill the party out of that love.

------

Matrona “Motya” Skillings

Stand: 「Cult of Personality」

Commonly shortened to「Personality」
「Personality」is a Short Range, Independent Humanoid Stand. It takes the form of a buxom mechanical humanoid, that's always hanging on or touching Motya and whispering in her ear.

Hajime Sorayama I believe
「Personality」grants Motya a sort of innate magnetism. Even if she's fighting you, it's hard to hate her. If her Stand touches you, you physically cannot will yourself to harm her even as she harms you.
「Personality」also lets Motya read your feelings and motivations, which she uses to predict and manipulate others.

Motya looks like a Bond girl, but with a high-fashion gold motif.

At first, she'll hang off Orzabal and act like a ditz. However, as her true nature is revealed, she will drop the act and change personality completely. She's actually a very angry and abrasive person, and is upset that she isn't taken more as a legitimate and equal Soviet comrade.

4. 「Shades」& 「Spy」

"Maximilian"

Stand: 「Gotta Wear Shades」

「Shades」 look like a pair of Mensur goggles, as if rendered by Tohth but as a real object
「Shades」 allow Maximilian to see through most conditions, across multiple spectrums, through materials, etc.
Additionally, they also grant Maximilian the ability to predict probability perfectly; basically allowing him to see the future.

This helps him avoid a lot of things very easily, however he's still only human. If something is big enough, or unpredictable, or unexpected enough; he can still get caught.
It also requires Maximilian to actually be focusing and doing the actual math. In theory he could be overwhelmed or overlook factors if there's too much going on.

Maximilian isn't his real name, but he's changed it since joining up with the Soviets. Maximilian is a former Nazi rocket scientist you see. He was forcibly recruited into working for the Soviets after the war. He still has a lot of his Nazi ideals and resents his Soviet masters, but ultimately he really could care less. He’s still pursuing his science for, in his mind, the same sorts of people anyway. He doesn't care as long as they let him build rockets.

Maximilian will use a wrench, and whatever is in the scenery, to isolate an opponent and take them apart one by one.

------

Robert Yuri

Stand: 「Spy」

「Spy」 is a Humanoid Stand, that initially looks like a person painted with something even darker than vantablack; like a silhouette that is drinking in the environment around itself.

As it's effect expands: it slowly grows in size and begins to clip through the world around it, like a wandering giant. Eventually if it grows big enough, you're just completely enveloped in void and can't make out it's humanoid shape at all.

Anything within「Spy's」darkness is completely deprived of their senses, as if they were put in a sensory deprivation tank.

There is one exception to this: the target can still feel pain and sense injuries on their bodies.

Eventually, with no sensory inputs, targets begin to hallucinate things around them.

Yuri is a man so silent, he won't even speak on his death bed. He's almost dressed entirely normally, perhaps being slightly too gucci for his era.

5. 「Atom Bomb Baby」& 「This Fire」

Rodya Romanov

Stand: 「Atom Bomb Baby」
Close Range Stand, looks like a metal statue of an elephant melting into a bathtub.
Rodya is essentially just a walking nuclear bomb.
Rodya looks like a patient from a psikhushka, because he used to be. Until one day his Stand started spitting rads, and the Soviet researchers nabbed him.
Rodya is relatively passive, but also: depressively suicidal. He'll constantly mumble about considering to blow himself up right now. Which, given his Stand, would also likely initiate World War III and end the world in Nuclear Holocaust. "But would that be so bad? The world kind of sucks anyway..."
------

Aleksey Kozlov

Stand: 「This Fire」
Close Range Humanoid stand, that looks like a cross between a motorcycle, a skeleton, and a female dominatrix pegging a male soldier. It has multiple sets of eyes, all of which seem to be pushed deeper into their heads then makes sense.
Aleksey will keep this a secret until needed, but his Stand can actually look at 3 targets at once.
Whoever 「This Fire」 stares at begins to feel as if the Stand's eyes are boring a way through them. They feel their self-control weaken, and a strong compulsion to act as instructed.
If Aleksey says the phrase "Walking Away"- instead of following commands, the target loses all self control and begins to act on their underlying feelings and thoughts; even if it would greatly jeopardise them.
Aleksey is your stereotypical American-film type Soviet hard-ass commanding officer. His uniform has that "covered in medals" look, however the medals instead are all random high fashion little pins and other non-regulation designs.
He was transferred as an added security measure to help control Rodya; or to potentially deploy together with him as a living nuclear weapon if need be.
Aleksey is the kind of unhinged man who might just turn the key, press the button, and end the world if he perceives he's starting to lose.

6. Bernhard Lloyd

Stand: 「Forever Young」
Nobody aside from Bernhard can see「Forever Young」, as it only appears while his ability is active. If one could see it though, it looks like a combination of a gas mask, and a chess rook.
While 「Forever Young」is active: time is stopped indefinitely, until Bernhard wishes it to move again. However: Bernhard cannot move in the stopped time.
Basically, this allows Bernhard an unlimited time to think and reflect on things.
While time is stopped, he can't move his head or eyes at all.
Even if it effectively has no physical power, Bernhard can constantly activate and deactivate his Stand at a near instantaneous speed to allow himself to perform frame-perfect movements; giving him an unparalleled level of precision.
That said, he is still human. He just uses his time much more efficiently, but if something is faster or inevitable there's not much he can do about it.
Bernhard used to be a famous East German chess prodigy, going toe-to-toe with the likes of Petrosian or Spassky. However, when it was discovered he was utilising his Stand during his games, the Soviets quietly banned him from play and moved him to the supernatural research division. While this was done to keep Stands classified and avoid potentially disgracing the Soviets with a cheating scandal on the world stage, it's left Bernhard bitter and sadistic. These days he pretty much only lives for the thrill of the fight, choosing to fight with nothing but a Colt Single Action Arny for the thrill of reloading in battle.

7. Katerina Borislava

Stand: 「Breathing」
「Breathing」is a Long Range Stand that affects the area around Katerina. They look like tiny little fucked up screaming robot orb guys you might see to market a GPU in the early 2000s, and are no bigger than a grain of sand.
Basically: if Katerina is having a panic attack, EVERYONE in the vicinity around her is having one too.
If this gets bad enough or goes on long enough, everyone aside from Katerina dies from either a heart attack or a lack of oxygen
Rurik resists this thanks to having a supplemental oxygen tank, and an artificial cyborg heart designed by former Nazi scientists.
She looks like a human version of one of those tiny yappy dogs with the really really long hair. Like a wandering mop. She's incredibly short for her age as well.
Katerina normally acts like a sort of vapid teenage girl, but at the slightest inconvenience she'll completely flip personalities and have a complete panic attack over the most unexpected or bizarre things (e.g. there being crust on her sandwich, people whose first and last names rhyme, etc). Really only her handler, Rurik, has a good knowledge of what will set her off.
------

Rurik

A brick wall of a man, with a goatee and dark glasses and an oxygen tank. He looks less like a Soviet agent, and more like a Hollywood talent manager. He tries to act like one to, but ends up doing all sorts of debasing and demeaning stuff in order to keep Katerina happy instead.

He has no actual combat expertise, and relies on Katerina to set up easy kills for him by snuffing people with a pillow or something while he breathes from his oxygen tank. He is legitimately really good at managing Katerina though.

8. Gabriela Kerner

Stand: 「99 Luftballons」
Her Stand consists of a series of rings, about the size of your fist. The majority of these lenses are actually affixed to balloons, which Gabriela brings with her as part of her disguise.
Some of the balloons are decoys though, and some rings she actually keeps on her person for emergnecies.
Whatever enters one ring, exits another as an "extended" and "split" version (e.g. a tip of an umbrella might enter as an I-shape but then emerge from another lens as an elongated Y-shape).
Gabriela is adept at using these lens to stab at targets from unpredictable angles, including stabbing from one lens into another lens.
Or just to make like a deer antler nest of stabbing points.
She can also chain lenses in order to produce a wall or cage made entirely from a single straight object.
The lenses can also be used defensively, in order to intercept a strike or bullet and then move in between where the two elongations go.
Or to trap peoples limbs in them to make them jumbled and unwieldy.
Gabriela is actually a freelance assassin. She has currently been hired by a representative of the Soviets known as "Ivan" in order to kill the party and retrieve YoYo. It's nothing personal, she just needs the money you see.
She usually operates covertly in public as a balloon seller, and by covertly pricking people with her poison-tipped umbrella in crowds. Unless the victim ingests an ampoule of the antidote within an hour, they'll die of a heart attack. (Luckily though, she carries six ampoules on her person at all times in case she accidentally pricks herself).

9. Piotr Gabriel

Stand: 「Games Without Frontiers」
Commonly shortened to「Games」
Anyone affected by「Games」gets a little mascot that appears on their shoulder, and acts as a referee. Piotr's mascot looks like a little an animatronic Capuchin monkey that's been ripped in half down the middle, carrying a walkie talkie
This Stand "enforces" the game plans of its targets. For example: if an opponent plans on turning right, they will be forced to go right no matter what. Even if suddenly a car comes plunging down the alley, you are forced to continue going forward into it.
Piotr uses this to trick people- either setting up traps, anticipating opponent's moves, forcing mistakes, etc.

Piotr is, seemingly, just a normal Polish citizen. In fact he doesn’t even care for the Soviets, and is even willing to cooperate with the party. However, after hearing a code word by phone from "Ivan", he immediately “activates” Manchurian-candidate style and is ready to act.

His M.O. is asking people about their “plans” while normal, getting activated by his handler, then initiating the plan. In this state, he's obsessive about people doing what they’ll say, to the point where he’ll puppet their corpses to do what they said they would do.

10. Major Foma

Stand: 「Heroes」
A Close Range Stand, that resembles a heavily broken concrete statue of a big-bearded man held together by rebar and red handkerchiefs
「Heroes」lets Foma "borrow" time from his future self, to be used now.
In practice: this lets him freely move at super speed. In the span of one minute, he can do two minutes, an hour, a year's work.
Foma uses this constantly, and in stupid and inefficient ways (e.g. digging a tunnel with his bare hands instead of finding a shovel first).
He doesn't know it, but as of now he only has about three years left in him; from burning so much of it up for his comrades.
Eventually: Foma will run out of time. This will leave him permanently frozen in time, a living statue unable to think or die.

Major Foma was born a common man, and he will insist that's all he is. But to his peers he's known as the Hammer of the People, and a true Hero of Communism. He looks like he walked right out of a propaganda poster, but he's a genuinely noble and good person. He is a true believer in the cause, and spits a constant stream of propaganda as he labours for his comrades.

He actually intends to defeat the party, and return YoYo to whatever distant relations of hers he can track down in Poland. This is a doomed and foolish plan, as there's nothing stopping her from being put right back where she started beyond firm insistence.

11. Yakov Yakovlev

Stand: 「Burning Hearts」
「Burning Hearts」is gargantuan, a torso looming over the horizon. It looks akin to mythological Atlas, but the head has been replaced by a Klein Bottle. Each hand is easily the span of an entire city.
Once activated,「Burning Hearts」will place both it parallel at two points in the nearby city- as if about to clap.
This is a timer. As it goes, 「Burning Hearts」will slowly cup it's hands together in order to force people to race toward the center point.
「Burning Hearts」only affects Yakov and any targets he deems worthy opponents. This excludes YoYo and any civilians nearby. It can't physically touch anything.
As the edges of each hand approach you, your autonomic nervous system kicks into overdrive. Hearts pump, adrenaline rushes, fight-or-flight takes over and you tap into ever reserve in your body to achieve your absolute limit.
If you actually touch one of the hands, you die on the spot from shock as your heart explodes and your muscles tear themselves apart.
The only ways to survive the effects of the Stand are to either kill the user, or to be at the centre.

Yakov is rocking a blonde skullet, leather racing suit, and the worst moustache you've ever seen in your goddamn life. He also probably drove up in his bitching custom Bizzarrini 5300 GT, which he will use to race you if you have a car. If you don't, he's willing to race you on foot.

I'm not a car-guy but hopefully this is the right Bizzarrini

Yakov did not join the Soviets for wealth or status. In his own words, Yakov joined up to reach his peak. He believes that one may only thrive through the constant challenging of others; and he often finds challenge in this profession. He does not deceive, he does not trick, and he explains every rule in advance. He only wishes to straight forward compete.

If somehow everyone reaches the centre alive, Yakov will peacefully part and leave the party and YoYo alone.

12. Philip Klossner

Stand: 「Land of Confusion」

This Stand looks like a prehensile network of nerves, which elongate and stretches to encompass a few city streets at a given time. At anytime, the nerves can contort in order to form a contorted caricature version of Phillip's face that can speak to people.

I picture Phillip's apparation looking like this Apple
commercial of Big Brother, but more contorted

Phillip can see, hear, and touch through「Land of Confusion」. The Stand itself is also basically immune from direct harm.
It can also tie people up and generate sparks between it's different nerves. These sparks are typically very minor, unless given time to charge up- at which point it can become lethal.

Phillip is your typical pale, shut in, creep who watches people through cameras. He watches everything, and reports his neighbours constantly.

Phillip is the lowest of the low, and he'll try every dirty trick in the book to bait people into traps or deal with a hostage situation or whatever means he can to kill people off. Really the only way to deal with him is to locate wherever he's hiding, and stop him.

Finale: The Wall

What is a final battle without a big set piece? And where else for this but the Berlin Wall.
Amidst the recently erected concrete slabs and watch towers and guard patrols, one final Stand User stands between the party and escaping with YoYo.
------
Ivan Lenin
Stand: 「Back to the USSR」
Commonly abbreviated as 「B2U」
Looks like Baba Yaga's House, but the house part has been replaced with a concrete brutalist structure. It's still got chicken legs though.
It can bend space-time, in order to bring two points next to each other.
This is incredibly powerful and versatile- allowing Ivan to warp people or objects around however he pleases. He can only do so one at a time though.
He also uses it to reflect blows or projectiles by bending space to redirect them.

Ivan Lenin is the head of the Soviet program researching the supernatural. He is a veteran who picked apart the cyborgs at Stalingrad, witnessed the vampires retreating to Sicily, dissected the Hamon masters captured by the CCP, and is currently embroiled in studying the potential of Stand Users.

He does all this, not for Communism or for the dialectic or for winning the Cold War. He does this for 「Balance」 on a cosmic scale. The world, in his eyes, has been shifting out of alignment for centuries. Mechanisation, information, the ever shifting nature of technology is upsetting the sense of order which must be maintained between all things in the world. He believes YoYo can help restore this「Balance」, for the greater good, by controlling the dreams and hearts of people and guiding them to a more perfect future.

Epilogue

The party's CIA handler, Michael Snow, extracts them from West Berlin and flies them covertly to a secure facility located somewhere offsite in Langley, Virginia.
Here, they are to turn over YoYo to the custody of the US government's new supernatural research division up north; where Michael assures you that YoYo will be treated well.
If this ultimatum is rejected, Mr. Snow will "store" YoYo and personally take out the party along with his CIA security retinue.
If the party somehow survives, they'll receive an outreach from the Speedwagon Foundation with some more potential options.
------
Michael Snow
Stand: 「Pull My Trigger」
Usually just referred to as「Trigger」
As「Trigger」is the real final Stand User, it's design fits that mould. It incorporates a lot of sharp triangles and asymmetry into it's design, especially as it is missing it's left arm.
This Stand allows the user to "store" things inside of an object. They may only do this up to the number of fingers the user has, which in this case is 5.
This cannot store anything larger than the size of a car, and the object it's stored in needs to at least be about as big as a playing card.
Anything that's stored is kept in stasis- time doesn't seem to pass for it while it's stored.
Mike can also store phenomena like active explosions, shooting bullets, or even another Stand's effects to release later as he chooses.
A stored object may be released either at will by Mike, or upon a "trigger" that he specifies upon storing an object. They are also released if he dies.

Michael Snow is dressed in a bespoke suit, with a lot of triangle designs. He also only possesses one natural right hand, and one cybernetic prosthetic left arm designed by a Nazi scientist as part of Operation Paperclip. His weapon of choice is actually a humble baseball bat, which he uses with his prosthetic arm to frightening effect.

His power lends itself to all sorts of traps and tricks, or even just storing an explosion inside of a rock and batting it at people. He oscillates between guile and brutality very easily. Not to mention he will utilise his fellow CIA agents however is needed to achieve his aims.

Unlike your Soviet enemies, Michael has no dreams of patriotism or delusional aspirations. "It's all about whoever can walk up with the biggest stick, you see. Always has been, always will be." He only pursues money and power for his own personal ends.

This post is a fan work, based on the world of Hirohiko Araki's "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure", with no affiliation to any legally representative parties (such as Lucky Land Communications, David Productions, Viz Media, the rights holders for the music or other art referenced, etc).

Monday, August 3, 2026

GLÅUGUST 2026: [MUGM] Geometristics & the Domain

Domains

People constantly shape the world around themselves, and this is most true within their home. The way you might leave a drawer full of things, or where you put that book you were reading, or the smell in the air after you make a nice cup of tea just the way you like it. It all shapes the place with your intentions.

This is true too for truly puissant or masterful individuals. Deliberate work done over the course of decades shapes the workshop by the work, carving the grooves and patterns of mastery into a Locus to help any who would follow the same path. Some philosophical types even pose the concept of an "Ideal" Locus, a place achieved through perfect intention and perfect work in which anything is possible.

Monsters also have Domains if they settle in one place. This slowly twists the world into extensions of their own intentions and compulsions, creating what are colloquially known Dungeons.

Geometristics, according to a Geometrist

Geometrists are wizards, but they do not work spells in the conventional sense.

The Geometrist works with borders, pens, and politics. They toil to shape boundaries, to carve up the world with roads, and borders, and networks, and civilisation.

But not for the sake of their own Domain, at least not entirely.

Geometrists can see the innate "flow" of cause and effect. Whether you'd call it prophecy or fortune or destiny, they may ask a simple question about their Domain and intuitively know an exact- if abstract- path to "achieve" it.

For example: let's say you asked "How could I get everyone in this town to live a really, really long time?"

A normal, conventional thinker would think of normal conventional advice. A clean environment, plentiful resources, etc etc. All of this should reasonably help most residents of the town live longer and better lives.
A Geometrist would have the esoteric insight that the best way to achieve this would be to reconstruct every building to face the south. A road should then be constructed alongside the river to connect it to the town over. The forests to the north should be burned down completely, and not allowed to regrow. And, once this is all finished, any child who cannot yet walk on their own should be killed immediately.

The path as seen by a Geometrist is but one path forward, and more conventional means can arrive at comparable ends, sure. But the path charted by a Geometrist is a GUARANTEED one. As long as the vision is followed, then success is certain.

Only... the bigger the goal, the more grand and complicated the requirements.

Besides the limitations of time and resources, there's also all the damned wandering egos you need to contend with. Sometimes a single person stepping out of place can upset countless years of effort or require even more time to correct things, so reigning in dissidents in advance is key.

And all this goes without mentioning rival Geometrists, with their own paths and their own visions and their own requirements which almost always stand in direct conflict with yours.

Suffice it to say, the guaranteed path is not always the easiest one.

Geometristics, according to a Subversive awaiting execution

Whether Geometristics is even "real" is a matter of debate.

There is some truth to be found there. After all: the dedicated work and intentions of hundreds if not thousands of people surely may shape their greater Domain in some way. And history does have many accounts of inexplicable happenings, seemingly achieved through Geometristics.

However: countless mad lords have committed terrible deeds in the name of supposedly being a Geometrist and fulfilling a glorious vision. Whether they really were and merely stumbled in the process, or were deluded from the start, whose to say?

But even if Geometristics is completely real, it is by nature flawed. It relies on the conceptualisation and asking of a single question by a single fallible being.

Let's say I wanted to create a shining city. One that will surely reign for a thousand years. If the cost of founding that city was feuding and eradicating and destroying countless others, is that a fair path? Is that a fair question?

So I say: what if the Geometrist is asking the wrong question?

A concept I've been stewing on for my MuGM setting, which hopefully fits into Glaugust Challenge 1, #3: Spells of the Evil King.

Wednesday, July 29, 2026

GLÅUGUST 2026: Art Crawl, Part I

Making Art Pieces

Before you run this with anybody, it's very important that you have them MAKE some artistic creations. Preferably a handful of different things, the more the better. It doesn't really matter what medium they are in, but everyone making a variety of things is also good.

Don't worry about the quality, just use whatever time and skills you have. Using things you've made for a purpose other than this game is in bad taste. What matters is that it's creative, and that you made it yourself. Oh: and that the creator gives each piece it's own title.

Beyond this: only tell players that this is for a game you're running. The less information or knowledge they have beforehand, the better.

If possible: providing the art supplies & the structured time to do all this before the game is ideal.

Okay, all set?

Now give everybody a chance to share and discuss their work :)

Okay, all set for real now?

Character Creation

Each piece of art that the players have created is not only one of the many pieces in the art exhibition that the game takes place in, but it will also be one of the player characters they may control for this game.

Each player may select one Piece created by themselves or another player to be their character. If this Piece were to be destroyed or otherwise defeated during the course of play, they may simply select another one of the unchosen pieces to roll up as their next character.

Each Piece has four characteristics for the sake of play:

It's Title, which acts as your name of course.
It's Appearance, which is what you generally look like. Feel free to anthropomorphise Pieces however you wish, such that they generally have the capabilities of your average person.
It's Medium, which one of your abilities is based on from the list below. In the case of mixed media, pick whichever feels the most appropriate.
- If this Piece is a sculpture, crafted piece, or another form of tangible object: your presence is more solid and tactile compared to many other Pieces. As such: only another Piece which shares this Medium may directly harm you through physical violence. Other Mediums may still harm you indirectly through the use of traps, hazards, gravity, etc. There's also nothing stopping them from doing other things like imprisoning you, cursing you, etc.
- If this Piece is a painting, photograph, or another form of 2D art: then any optical illusion that you arrange may be treated as real and interacted with, as long as all observers immediately present are viewing it with an angle and lighting that would make the illusion seem real. For example: a black smudge painted on a wall may be a real hole when viewed directly from the front, or you may lift an entire building in one hand if the perspective makes it look tiny. All it takes is one observer stepping out of line to prevent this though.
- If this Piece is a film or another piece of "moving" content: you have a Runtime of about 100 Minutes, give or take an additional 3d6 Minutes. This is a timer, that ticks down for every real-life minute that passes once play starts. Once it hits 0, you rag-doll and drop dead on the spot. You may also spend your Minutes to manipulate time using any of the options below:
  - (10 Minutes) Montage: Anything that would be possible through good old manual labor, you can achieve by yourself in a quick montage.
  - (10 Minutes) Transition: You can fade, jump cut, wipe, etc. to instantly move your party to any location in the exhibition they have been to before. No explanation is needed for how you got here or how you got out of the situation you were in before- like a dream you're all just there. When you arrive, an Encounter happens and the pot resets (see below).
  - (10 Minutes) Slow-mo: Everything slows down into bullet time- until either you release it, you leave this area of the exhibition, or you lose consciousness. During Slow-mo: stop your timer. You can dodge and outmanoeuvre anything that moves. You can take as much time as you want to think on a problem, even in the middle of danger. You have perfect clarity, with all the time you need to process any emotions you're experiencing. You are in control.
  - (X Minutes) Time Lapse: For every Minute you choose to expend, you may age whatever you are touching by one whole Year.
- If this Piece is a poem, song, or other written work: you can speak any of the words or phrases that make you up in order to force a target to experience a specific sensation, emotion, or question they must seriously consider. You may use your words as written, or you can feel free to remix them on the spot.
It's Message, which your main ability is based on. Write this out Cottonmouth-style with your play group, as a single simply phrased Law of reality which is uniquely True for your character. You can base this purely on the content of a piece, but feel free to also go for as deep an interpretation as desired.

Rules

(I may need to trim these up later? But the idea is to keep things fairly fast, loose, and free flowing).

Regardless of what they are made of or how they are shaped, every Piece is assumed somehow capable of doing anything a typical climbing, swimming, rope-swinging adventuring type is capable of unless specifically stated otherwise.
Similarly: the constructions of their bodies offer them no special properties compared to an average human, unless stated otherwise by their Medium or Message.
Characters don't have Inventories per se; just what they can immediately carry on their person or drag around.
How do humans interact with sentient Pieces of art? They won't, don't think so hard about it. Focus on the mood and feeling of it, don't make a YouTube Video Essay about how this is actually all a dream happening in the mind of a dying artist.
Don't worry about Food, Sleep, etc. The game takes place in one dream-like night. Also you are pieces of art.
A Piece may only harm another if:

A.) they possess a weapon of some sort, even just a blunt object
B.) there are no obvious obstacles or other impediments at play preventing them from using that weapon (e.g. distance between them and the target, the target wearing armour, target is behind cover from bullets, etc)
C.) their victim is unable or unwilling to put up any resistance

if all of these are true, then a Piece may declare whatever damages or injuries are inflicted on their victim as they wish.

If Initiative were to be required, the party all goes first on a single turn; followed by any NPCs present all acting on a single turn; and so on.
Whenever your party does something attention-grabbing or enters an unexplored room/keyed area, add 1d6 to a central pot and then roll all dice currently in the pot. On 20+, an Encounter occurs and the pot empties.

When in doubt, the GM shall provide any other necessary rulings.

Scenario

You are all Pieces of art within an exhibition that's been touring for a couple years. In that time, countless thousands of faces have sneered at you like a sea of stippling dots before shuffling and shifting on.

The droning docents with their sharp uniforms and polished buttons must have delivered the same speeches about you to every half-asleep school child in the country. All of the little yellowed notecards read the same:

"confused"

"derivative"

"skill-less"

"insulting"

"degenerate"

The same circus prancing in front of your cages, day in and day out.

Only... today is different. Instead of being packaged up in neat little boxes with bubble wrap and packing peanuts to be moved on, some pieces were left on display as normal. Others were taken and just heaped up in great piles in the backrooms. Many were taken and just tossed about the place as part of a game, with a few even being destroyed beyond repair.

As the staff laughed and played, they talked of a great speech which will happen in the morning. A speech, which will be followed by a great conflagration.

But that is then, and for now it is still the night before.

And by whatever mercy can be found in this world, you and your fellows all have found will enough to try and escape however you can.

This little game will be set in contemporary time and place,
but I hope the inspiration for it is very clear.

A loose, scope-crept, first introduction to part of an attempt at Challenge 6, 6: "Select an artistic movement, and make a dungeon in reference to the works or habits of that artistic movement. Painting, writing, music, all work. The only forbidden thing is referencing artistic movements from TTRPGs, because that is too easy." conceived and written in one hazy sleep-deprived night when inspiration struck me.

I know strictly speaking"degenerate and banned art" is more of an enforced category as opposed to a movement per se, but I hope it still fits the vibes of things.

Expect the dungeon that actually completes this challenge soonish.

Sunday, July 19, 2026

GLÅUGUST 2026: [MUGM] The Laws of Surrendering

Thank you to the many fine folks of Phlox's Discord Server who helped unstick me on this! It's something I've had rattling around in the back of my head for a few months, which I ended up drafting in one go today.

Hopefully it fits within the context of Challenge 4, #6 pretty well!

The Terms of Surrendering

Most sentient beings, even including some who have not yet fallen too far into Monstrousness, will abide by ending a conflict with Surrender.

In exchange for their life and for no further harm to come to them, the Surrenderers must negotiate offering up one or more of the following to their Conquerors:

Some form of loot or payment from what the Surrenderers have on hand is paid to the Conqueror.
A ransom. The Surrenderers are bound & cared for as collateral, and taken to be traded to whatever friends or allies will pay for their release.
The Surrenderers must perform one discrete labor for the Conquerors (e.g. "plow my fields", "deliver this letter", etc).
An oath must be sworn by the Surrenderers in a public and legally binding way. If this oath is broken, the Surrenderers will be marked as either being untrustworthy or Outlaws depending on the severity of things.
The Surrenderers must report to a local community in order to face whatever form of justice or legal system is used there.
An indignity must be suffered. Usually this is reserved for highly public figures, whom are stripped of a title or forced into some other social humiliation. If the Surrenderers has little else to offer though, some bullies are satisfied with watching people squirm. Or y'know, torture.
The Conqueror may wish to inflict some form of specific injury or binding upon the Surrenderer, to ensure they will not be a threat.

Of course, other arrangements may also be negotiated as well.

The Enforcement of Surrendering

Monitors

Censusism has been slowly growing ever since the 5th Splash. A large part of this is thanks to the goodwill they've earned via their Monitors- individuals who offer the following free services in many towns and cities:

They track whomever is arriving, where they came from, and when.
They track whomever is leaving, where they are off to, and when.
Optionally: you may also log a record of any or all goods you have with them as well.
While the public may not directly access a Monitor's records, anyone may ask a Monitor to consult their records for them or to act as a witness for such matters.
A Monitor's records are also regularly committed to the same grand vault that all of Censusism stores their records on every person who ever lived.

Most societies, enforcers of law, caravaners, itinerants, and general travellers utilise the Monitor's useful record-keeping services extensively. After all: if you go missing or get into trouble, it's one of the first methods anyone would have to find you. Smugglers and other sorts wishing to travel in secret either falsify their identities or omit part of their manifest, or simply hedge their bets and don't opt in in the first place.

Monsters

People can become Monstrous for many reasons, but there are many cautionary tales of Monsters born with the sole focus of revenging themselves upon those who would betray an honest Surrender. The most famous of these fables is of Adala & Alethea.

Adala and her sister Alethea were both Gizhelber, living on the fringes of the cold and desolate Red Empty. As such, they had to travel quite a ways to find the nearest spawning pool frequented by their species.
Along the road, they were accosted by robbers. Alethea cried "Please, we Surrender! We don't have much, but-" before being cut down, the layers of her papery body peeling away. Before Alethea's watery thin blood could even freeze to the permafrost, Adala had already begun to change.
Her skin began to peel away- layers separating into hundreds of loose flowing sheets. Then, it shred itself into the countless thin strands of a brush. Dragging a single mop-like finger across the ground, she dredged up the straw-coloured blood of her sister before flicking it at her assailants. "Perfidious!" "Meaningless!"
The robbers slashed at Adala, but their swings did little more than part her strands aside. Instead they fled, as Adala clawed at them and smeared them with her blood-yellow grasp. They ran and ran for hours, until they finally came back to their den near town.
There the robbers attempted to scrub themselves clean using gravel and rime. However, no matter how they scrubbed, Alethea's blood wouldn't fade away. One man among them, so frightened by the stain, attempted to cut his flesh loose- only to find Alethea's blood flowing through his own veins. The leader of the robbers saw this and shouted to his men, "Calm, calm, CALM DOWN MY ROBBERS! I shall go into town! I will find us a cure!"
And so he went into town, but what did he see? Adala was already there, raving to the townsfolk, spreading the word of the robbers and their foul misdeeds! "Damn" he thought, "I must go elsewhere." And so he went to the next town over- but then there too was Adala! Already shouting! Already screaming! And in the next town, and the next town, and the next town.
They say that to this day, the leader of the robbers is still trying to outrace Adala and his own deeds- and that you can still hear his men near the Red Empty howling for him to return with a cure.

Nooseknot Tablets

Nooseknots are born as tiny little insects, smaller than a grain of sand. In nature they get blown around on the breeze, and breathed in or swallowed by other creatures. For any creature bigger than your thumb, all this usually results in is a mild case of diarrhoea.

If the host dies though, the Nooseknot will instantly mature and grow a tail many times the length of their body. This tan tail with sepia colored patches makes them resemble very thin string-like worms, which burst out of the fresh corpse and immediately drill down into the ground faster than the blink of an eye. By the time you realize what's happened, there's little more than some pinpricks in the dirt.

The Nooseknots frantically burrow back to the place they were originally born with near-perfect accuracy, in order to breed and continue the cycle. They do this by weaving themselves into a sheet of humping worms, beneath which big clumps of new Nooseknots will be born.

What's really peculiar about all this is, all of the body spots on the adult Nooseknots line up to form a perfect picture on the final sheet that they form: an image depicting the last thing their host saw before they died.

------

The predecessor to the Monitors were the Nooseknot Breeders. They are much less popular by comparison today, given the cost and the false alarm diarrhoea and all, but for a small fee you can still purchase a tablet made from dormant infant Nooseknots. If you ever were in mortal peril: you can simply pop it, and if you should die than that Breeder will usually get a near-perfect picture of what killed you that they will share with the authorities, kin, etc.

Designated Survivors

Many groups who are distrustful of outsiders or would like the extra insurance simply keep the fastest individual among them as a designated survivor. At the first sign of trouble, they are supposed to immediately flee and report the situations to others.

Social Pressure

To forgo the traditions of surrender is to invite Monstrousness and ruination, and so most decent folk you meet will treat it very seriously.

If you are accused and even mildly suspected of having violated a Surrender, as either conqueror or surrenderer, most cultures enforce publicly shunning you until you've cleared your name. Even friends and family are expected to ignore you, though they may render you aid in secret.

If you do nothing to clear your name, you are unpopular enough, or there is clear undeniable proof you have violated Surrender: you are considered an Outlaw, and handled accordingly.

Typically, depending on the circumstances and the local customs, there are often a few legal arguments and methods to clear your name:

Some cultures hold some form of public trial.
If you have clear proof of your innocence, the accusation may be dismissed.
If an accuser claims you reneged on the terms of your surrender, you may often just pay those terms in public to resolve things.
If an accuser claims you attacked or abused them after they surrendered, you may just choose to face some form of punishment or penalty.
If you win the goodwill of the public, you may often be absolved if the accusation is minor and the evidence is thin.
If the accuser withdraws their accusation, you're also set. (Whether through bribery, threats, winning them over, etc)
When all else fails: a public duel is the most traditional resolution for any accusation. The loser of this duel is the one who is forced to surrender of course, this time with a public audience and immediate enforcement of terms.

The Implications of Surrender

Technically speaking: banditry is completely legal on The Mound. If you are stronger than someone, you can beat them up and force them to give you stuff.

However be sure you sized them up properly! If they get the jump on you, then you'll be the one surrendering your things.
Similarly: you better hope they don't have any powerful friends. Otherwise there's nothing stopping them from getting their friends and coming back for you.
Most city-states and other settlements have their own militias, which are more than happy to crush robbers or raid their dens and re-appropriate the bounty of their surrender for whatever local lordlings desire.

With this in mind: most bandits are forced to either operate away from society, only go after groups not protected by local authorities, or to be very quick and sneaky and always moving.

Some societies also have unspoken working arrangements with their banditry, letting them operate as a form of proxy military forces. As long as the bandits raid the enemy and keep on good behaviour locally, they are allowed to operate unimpeded.

------

The tradition of Surrender also makes a lot of odd jobs for mercenaries.

Obviously if you need deal with bandits and such, doesn't hurt to hire some muscle for protection or to raid the bastards and get your stuff back.
Some mercenaries also specialise in enforcing more complicated Surrender terms, such as guarding a surrenderer while they fulfil an oath or labour, for a regular fee.
Bounty hunters exist, that will track a criminal and beat them into Surrendering and facing justice.

------

Some other miscellaneous thoughts:

Some people make an entire living by hurling reasonable sounding false accusations at wealthier people, and just hoping they or the people who serve them pay out a small sum rather than deal with the headache of all this or challenging them to a duel.
You may defend yourself in a duel if you are accused of course. OR you can hire a duelist to fight in your stead. The very best duelists of course, are the Duelists of Zampuro.
Body doubles are very popular to protect prominent people from ransoming. A bandit might get halfway through negotiating for a fortune before realising the person they strong-armed is a lookalike and doesn't have a penny to their name.
A Conqueror may request anything of a Surrenderer short of their life, or things they don't have to give. As such, some cruel and indecent conquerors may force impossibly steep terms on a Surrenderer- most often in the form of a long and arduous task that essentially results in slavery.

This is, in spirit, a violation of the tradition of Surrender. But since one must rely on the local community to resolve it, sometimes the abuse may sadly stand without some kind of external pushback.

Saturday, July 18, 2026

GLÅUGUST 2026: Wanyūdō (GLOG Class)

Wanyūdō aka Wheel Monks aka Firewheels aka Soultakers

Loosely adapting what was on Wikipedia

Your character was a samurai, who was involved in some sort of grisly or obscene act which they believe has condemned them to Jigoku. In order to try and atone for this, they have chosen to walk a path of penance and serve this Hell in the hopes of "working off" their sins using the only skill they have: taking Souls.

Starting Items: an unforgivable act, a simple kimono, tabi, sandals, and one bladed weapon befitting a samurai

Starting Skills: your choice of Poetry, Calligraphy, or the Flute

A - Samurai-to-Monk, Dog of Hell, Soultaker
B - Bespoked, Jumpscare
C - The Wheel
D - Hellfire, Like a Devil
Δ - Yōkai

A. Samurai-to-Monk
Your character was once a samurai. As such, they are proficient with the same arms and armour that a samurai would be. However, they have since shaved their head and committed to a different oath. Similar to the Komusō: they have the right of unrestricted travel across any borders, and still have the right to bear arms.

A. Dog of Hell
Your character is recognised as an official representative of Hell, with all that entails. As part of this oath to serve, they also have a quota of 444 Souls which they must damn to Hell. You are supposed to grab obscene and vile people, but Hell isn't picky. As long as your character sends at least one Soul of any sort once a month, they should be good. Otherwise if you slack, Hell will take notice...

A. Soultaker
This ability cannot be used on any person who bears a holy talisman, is on hallowed ground, or is actively being protected by a holy person praying for them.

If someone is near-death (e.g. infirm, wounded, very elderly, etc) OR they are properly frightened, your character may physically touch them in order to rip the Soul from their body. For the next 8 Hours, the victim's body will spasm and sweat as it struggles to cling to life.

A Soul may be returned to it's original body anytime before those 8 Hours are up. If it is: they live. If it isn't: they die, and their Soul flies all the way to the Gates of Hell and into the underworld.
If any person willingly offers your character their Soul in trade for the victim's during those 8 Hours, your character is bound by the laws of Hell to return the Soul of the victim and take the offered Soul instead.

(Aside: Souls are warm motes of glowing energy, normally stored inside the Shirikodama. Your character can't really do much with either, but some more wizardly types may be able to fiddle and do different things with Souls.)

B. Bespoked
Devils have jabbed the wooden spokes of an ox cart wheel into your character's head as part of their repayments. This painful disfigurement does not get infected, does not seriously injure, etc. They also physically cannot be removed either. As long as your character is visible, they are the most prominent person in their group.

B. Jumpscare
If your character is talking with someone and that person is frightened, your character may perform one action in the blink of an eye without that person immediately noticing- like biting a baby's legs off. You may also choose to undo this action with no consequences immediately after, if you so wish.

(Aside: the "Undo" button is a bit of a remnant from when I was trying to also work in aspects of the Katawaguruma legend. I kept it in because I feel like it still fits the vibe here and allows for truly bizarre acts of intimidation).

C. The Wheel
The devils have come again, and they've taken your character's body. Don't worry though: the devils also finished them a nice sturdy wheel instead, so they can still do their job. Surely this is enough, right?

Your character no longer has a body, and so no longer can wield weapons, armour, do things that require hands, etc.
Your character doesn't need to defecate, urinate, etc; but still needs to eat, breathe, and sleep. Injuries to their wheel injure them as if it was their body.
Your character can flip like a coin at any time, to right themselves or lay down.
Your character can also roll around without getting nauseous.

On the first round they start moving, your character moves about half as fast as they normally could. On subsequent rounds, they can move about as fast as a galloping horse but with much better manoeuvrability.
If your character is moving at full speed: they can ram into a target for 2d6 damage; however this causes them to stop moving.

D. Hellfire
Devils are back, they're always back. And this time they torched your character with True Hellfire.

True Hellfire is fed by the victim's Soul. It cannot easily be transferred, and it can only be extinguished by either reincarnating or attaining Enlightenment. It also does not physically burn the target, but it does cause the pain of burning alive.

It also grants victims immunity to all lesser mortal flames, but an even greater weakness to any greater divine flames.

Your character is about as bright as a torch, at all times.
Your character can cause anything they see to burst into False Hellfire as an action. False Hellfire burns things just like a normal fire would, except it can only be put out by saying a short prayer, some holy water, etc.

D. Like a Devil
Anyone who doesn't have Templates from a Class or has never seen a devil before is frightened of your character on sight. This lasts until they are no longer in your character's presence.

Δ - True Yōkai: Deliver your whole quota of 444 Souls to Hell.

Did you really think that this would end any other way? Your character doomed themselves to roll down this path and cause suffering to everyone they meet, one way or another.

They are now an NPC, a devil, and a proper Yōkai with all that entails.

For Challenge 2 #6: I originally interpreted "classic" monsters as monsters from myths and stories as opposed to classic-to-tabletop-RPG monsters, which is why I landed on an adaptation of the Wanyūdō / Katawaguruma myth as a class.

As a cutting room floor extra, I also was debating about tossing in an ability based more on the Katawaguruma myth, but this Class already felt really dense and I didn't know where to put it so I cut it. I think it's still fun enough to share in some form though:

Bane of Gossips:
Everyone innately knows that you possess this ability, and only the very brave or the very foolish are willing to risk invoking it upon themselves.

If people who have seen you then gossip about you or your deeds, you instantly know about it and may issue a Curse upon them and their fellow gossips. This Curse may be any fairytale-style curse you can think of (e.g. turn into an animal, compelled to dance, etc), as long as it does not directly injure or kill the target. This Curse is immediately undone if they offer up a heartfelt public apology in the form of a poem.

This post by Ro Pham is licensed under CC BY 4.0, and may be used by anyone with proper attribution.

Monday, July 13, 2026

GLÅUGUST 2026: Miscellany in Dracula's Castle

Dracula is perhaps the most prominent figure in all of history.

He lead the Sea Peoples on their campaigns in Egypt.

He cultivated foxtail millet in Jiahu, right near the Yellow River.

He made tender love to Oreopitheci in the hills of the Mediterranean.

Dracula was around before humans became human. And yet he still wanders the Earth, unable to die as no afterlife is willing to take him. Over twelve million years spent wandering has left him completely broken; neurons fried like cassette tape that's been recorded over and over until it's just incomprehensible noise.

The Scenario

Currently: Dracula is out on another one of his usual benders.

Whenever this happens, it's basically an open invitation for the foolhardy to climb in through a castle window and raid the place. Maybe steal some stuff, post about it on social media, whatever.

Just make sure you aren't still hanging around by the time he gets back...

Castle Dracula

Dracula has owned literally thousands of castles over his endless life. This "Castle Dracula" is just the latest in a long line of Castles Dracula.

Built in sunny LA by the local chamber of commerce as a PR move (or potentially to avoid being killed by Dracula) at the turn of the millennium, this Castle Dracula is more or less the modern McMansion version of what you might think of as Dracula's castle.

Whatever sort of building or architectural things you can think of from the year ~2004 or earlier, Castle Dracula has like ten of them stuffed in there somewhere. Home theatres, oubliettes, bagua mirrors, CD libraries, échauguettes, nuclear war bunkers, one of those giant chess boards where you can use people as pieces, whatever pointless crap you can think of Dracula probably has a room for it exclusively.

The Denizens

Every single person you, the reader, have ever disliked or disapproved of is here! How serendipitous. They all have come here at one point or another in order to play sycophant to Dracula, along with all of the usual pimps and politicians you'd expect.

Whatever their motivation, they mill about through the halls of the castle like it's the mandatory birthday party for a coworker you don't particularly know. Each engages in chit chat as they carefully step around the mess accumulating in the halls.

1d12 Messes Accumulating in the Halls

A corpse, dragged behind a truck until barely recognisable
A meat smoker, currently jammed open with a half-eaten human body
The silhouette of a person burnt into the wall, as if disintegrated
An officer, their neck smashed in as if stomped on with both feet
A big pot of gumbo, with human bones floating in it
An open jar of Biscoff, thrown against the wall in rage
A bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch, thrown against the wall in rage
An ice cream cake, which was carefully left on a side table, and has since melted
Four sets of designer jeans, caked in faeces, balled up and placed under a rug
A pile of broken Hennessy bottles and empty Percocet blister packs
A mattress, covered in stains
A thrown away Grubhub order

a partially eaten tin of pearl salmon roe, which has been used as an ashtray
Applebee's mozzarella sticks, with the cheese sucked out
a mostly full package of Newports
a chopped cheese which smells like its been fished out of a dirty toilet
a calzone, leaking glowing green slime
an intact Filet-o-Fish and a half-empty bottle of red wine

Rooms of Note

The Vault

Dracula's entire horde is worth more than the entire world economy, many times over. Even some of the more minor items are essentially priceless historical artefacts. Despite this, they are not guarded whatsoever.

There are three reasons for this:

The feuds and suffering surrounding most pieces are so potent that most items are literally cursed. (Dracula, as ancient and laden with curses as he is, just doesn't care. He's already suffering an untold number of curses and diseases already.)
A single truckload making its way out would destabilise the world economy. So, most governments have agreed to quietly take out anyone trying that sort of thing.
It's Dracula's stuff dude. When he finds out, he will kill you.

1d12 of the First Things You Might See in Dracula's Vault

Diamonds, which come from the most horrific situations possible
A watch, so complex it's worth the GDP of Yemen
Yellow rubies, glistenin' like piss
The real Magna Carta
The real Eye of Horus
A blueprint of the catacombs where Alfred Loewenstein is really buried
One of Mansa Musa's rings; so heavy, you can't lift your hand
The last remaining rock from Nibiru
One of the Seven trumpets, the fourth one
The skull of a particularly large Australopithecus
A statuette from Harappa
The real Elephant's Foot, not the fake one that's there now

The Lab

Dracula has always relied on positively heroic doses of narcotics to cope with the endless eons, however all of that got way worse back in the 1800s with the discovery of morphine. Since then, he's more or less lived from bender-to-bender while constantly consuming enough random bullshit to overdose a bus full of people.

To this end: an entire wing of the Castle has been shoddily converted into the most Willy Wonka-esque drug lab you can imagine- one that embodies every iteration rolled together, including the sad Scottish one. Rivers that crust, powders and rust, spores and leaves and crystals and muck- everything ever to zoot you right up.

2d6 Effects of Consuming Random Substances in Dracula's Lab

1, 1: It's literally white phosphorous don't snort this

1, 2: Lets you see God

1, 3: Makes you produce slimes and biles

1, 4: Lets you speak Esperanto

1, 5: Releases a Symbiote

1, 6: Makes you a ghost

2, 1: Disrupts your circadian rhythm

2, 2: Gives you Vitruvian Man flexibility

2, 3: Makes you fight for your life

2, 4: Makes you black out

2, 5: Makes crystals begin poking out of your lungs

2, 6: Causes soul bleeding

3, 1: Enables quantum computing

3, 2: Makes you emaciated

3, 3: Makes you blind (temporary)

3, 4: Makes you blind (permanent)

3, 5: Lets you "use 100% of your brain"; actually causes massive seizures

3, 6: Grants you the skills and knowledge of a historical samurai, with all that entails

4, 1: Lets you see tomorrow's stock market

4, 2: Acts as an insult to God- who will personally send angels after you

4, 3: Makes you stare off into space for an extended period

4, 4: Destroys your hairline

4, 5: Allows you to move like a claymation figure

4, 6: Makes you act like Mr. Bean, with all that entails

5, 1: Makes you die and go to Purgatory: screaming for eternity, reliving every key mistake you've ever made in your life; over and over and over again

5, 2: Makes everything turn red for eight minutes

5, 3: Makes you faceblind

5, 4: Makes you talk like Pingu

5, 5: Lets you connect the dots; and gain actual revelations and insight

5, 6: Gives you an obsessive compulsion to read the book of Revelations

6, 1: Makes you act inconsiderate

6, 2: Makes you lose faith in yourself

6, 3: Changes your beliefs to put you on the wrong side of history almost every time

6, 4: Makes everything go black and white

6, 5: Makes you piss and drool all over yourself

6, 6: Puts worms in your head that won't shut the hell up

The Armoury

You would think Dracula's armoury would feature a vast array of weapons from across the ages, but its mainly just filled with relatively contemporary firearms these days. Each one has been modified in all sorts of esoteric and frankly awful ways though: uzis with scopes, shotguns with switches, AKs that sing like castrati, etc etc. Most guns found here are the designs of a madman, and have a 1-in-6 chance of exploding upon use which increases with each use.

Amongst all of this, there are a few more esoteric and dangerous weapons though.

1d10 Esoteric Weapons

A glock, formerly from the Vatican, loaded up with silver bullets
A pistol that sounds and moves like a Beyblade
A megaphone-like device that actually produces the Brown Note
A picture of a dog with human eyes that allows you to Turn Undead but on anyone who doesn't hate dogs
A miniature particle collider the size of a room. It can pull apart anything placed inside of it, and turn it into pure data.
A cloud seeding device that allows you to create a rain made of any kind of fluid sample you place into it
A rangefinder that lets you call a solar flare down on a specific location
A staff that lets you erupt any volcano you poke with it
A Higgs boson based pistol that seems to just completely annihilate a target
A Luger that will send even a Christian to Hell.

Dracula actually used the Luger from #10 to commit suicide just recently, as evidenced by the big bloody splatter on the wall near it. It'll only be another 3d20 hours until the demons stop him and send him back home to become your problem.

This GLÅUGUST post originally started as an outdated reference to make my wife smile, then building it up with a bit of padding and trying to see how obfuscated I could make any references, before reconsidering and settling somewhere in between to make a big list of random inane things you might find in a modern mad immortals lair.

A silly early start for GLÅUGUST :)

This post by Ro Pham is licensed under CC BY 4.0, and may be used by anyone with proper attribution.